Turns Out... I'm Into It!

#74: My Secret "Cock Worship" Fantasy: How Fantasies Unlock Better Sex

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In this week’s episode, Harley Rabbit takes a deep dive into the world of sexual fantasies and reveals one of her most provocative ones—a cock worship scenario rooted in her submissive desires.

Harley discusses how fantasies can unlock deeper arousal, help you connect with your core desires, and transform your sex life—whether you're indulging solo or with a partner. She explores why fantasising is healthy, how it doesn’t reflect your real-life values, and how to incorporate your imagination into sex without needing an elaborate setup.

Plus, Harley shares practical tips on using props, positions, and gestures to amplify your fantasies and make them even more immersive.

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Harley (00:13)
Hey, hey friends, it is Harley Rabbit here. Welcome back to another episode of Turns Out I'm Into It, the show all about helping you discover your kinky self and live your best sex life.

Today's episode is not the episode that I had planned. If you listened to me last week, I was expecting to have a guest on this time, but unfortunately she had to cancel. Sometimes life just works out that way.

but to make up for it, I thought I would do something extra spicy in today's episode. And today we're going to be talking about fantasy, So in this episode, I'm going to share all the reasons why I think fantasy or sexual fantasy, I should say, absolutely wonderful tool for improving your sex life.

and I'm going to give you one of my personal favorite fantasies, which is a cock worship fantasy.

I'm going to use that as a bit of an example, as to how you can use fantasy to turn yourself on and, channel your own arousal basically.

Now, podcasting rules are, I can talk about this super sexy stuff, which I am going to be talking about today. I can talk about it as long as the overall purpose of the content is educational. So I am talking about this with the intention of educating you guys listening.

I want to talk about why sexual fantasy is such a powerful tool that we have encourage all of my clients to indulge in it. arousal, however, I think...

Arousal is a beautiful part of life. So if you do, if this fantasy of mine does appeal to you, then you are more than welcome to use it in your own private time.

Before I jump into the rest of the episode, I usually do a bit of a life update. What's going on in my life at the moment? It's almost Christmas. The year is wrapping up, right? I think I've got this episode and then one more I'm going to do, and then I'm going to finish up for the year. So I will have a couple of weeks off over Chrissy, as we all need to rest and recharge.

and take care of ourselves.

So I'll tell you more about that next week.

In the meantime, if you are enjoying this podcast, please give me a five star rating. If you're on Spotify or Apple podcasts, those ratings are anonymous and they do an excellent job at helping to, helping other people find the podcast. So if you want to help me out and help this podcast grow, then please give me a five star rating.

All right, I think that is it for today's introduction. Let's jump in to the episode.

Harley (03:14)
So fantasizing during sex or masturbation is a wonderful tool that we have at our disposal that can help us increase our arousal. A lot of people have trouble getting turned on. It can help us stay hard or wet or however your body works. It can also help us reach orgasm. So...

Society likes to shame fantasies. likes to tell us that we're only allowed to think about very specific things like romantic things. We're only allowed to think about our partner if we're in a monogamous relationship.

And there's this real belief that you shouldn't fantasize during sex because it means you're not focused on your partner. And sex is all about intimacy and being really connected. I really disagree with this. Yes, sex is about intimacy. Yes, it is about connection or it can be,

But sex is also about having a really fucking good time, right? Having really hot sex, fulfilling sex with your partner or with multiple partners or with a random or whatever you want to do with yourself. Sex is about having fun and pleasure and having a fulfilling experience. And fantasy is a wonderful way that we can facilitate that experience. It can help our bodies work in the way that we want them to.

It can help us feel into our core desires.

It can take kind of mediocre sex to super hot fun sex, and that's going to be good for you. And it's going to be good for your partner. Now, I just want to emphasize here that fantasizing is not cheating. Okay. You are entitled to have privacy about the thoughts you have in your own head Okay. That is your business.

It does not affect anybody else. And what is happening in your head, in your spicy imagination is not real. Most of the time these fantasies do not reflect what we actually want to do in our real life. They're just ways to get turned on. And we're going to talk about that in more detail with examples. You will definitely see a lot of my fantasies. I would not want to happen in real life.

or they at the very least don't reflect my values in my, in the real world. Anyway, we'll talk about that in a minute.

The point that I'm trying to make here is please don't feel guilty about fantasizing. If you have a fantasy and it's helping you get more aroused and enjoy your sex more, Then that is great.

If it helps you have better sex, then do it.

I used to, I think I've talked to you guys about this before, but I used to feel really guilty about using fantasy and sex because I use it so much. Like most people will use a combination. We've talked about the three dimensions of sex on the show before. that's,

partner connection, so eye contact, words of affection, I love you so much, cuddling each other, being close to each other, that's partner connection. Then there's trance, which is focusing on the sensations that you're experiencing during sex, you kind of go really deep inside yourself and get into a rhythm and just focus on those sensations, that's trance. And then there's role play, which I think...

would be better described as fantasy because it literally means imagining fantasies, imagining scenarios or acting them out. Those are the three different dimensions of sex that we can use to facilitate our arousal. And for some people, they might be really focused on partner connection and that's all they need. Some people might be just into trance and that's all they need.

And some people might be a combination of two or three of them and they might go between focusing on their partner and then, yeah, this feels really good. I'm going to focus on that sensation. And then, I'm going to imagine this sexy fantasy that I've got running in my head. I'm going to run that for a little while and all back to my partner. Yeah. Like that's sex and that's great.

fantasizing during sex is a completely normal part of sex and a really helpful tool that you can use to make sure you have a fun, sexy, fulfilling experience. And personally, like if you think about it.

I would definitely prefer my partner or partners to indulge in their fantasies while we're fucking. Because if that means that they're going to be more turned on and more into it, then bring that on. I want to see them in their pleasure. I want to see their desire.

That's going to make it more fulfilling for me as well, knowing that my partner or partners are having a really great time.

Anyway, am I making sense?

So now that we understand that fantasy is a completely normal, healthy part of sex, let's move on to talking about some fantasies. All right.

This is the fun part. So the fantasy that I want to use as a bit of an example for you is, a bit of a treat, because I know a few of you, a lot of you might enjoy this. It appeals to a lot of different kinky roles.

so I mentioned this as a cock worship fantasy and that's something that I haven't spoken about on the show before. Told you lots of, of my CNC fantasies and abduction fantasies. this definitely ties into that, but.

It's more willing subservience than forced, a forced fantasy. So that reminds me, disclaimer on this one, this fantasy is going to be extremely offensive to some people. So often our kinks, our desires, they come from our shadow personality. This is the parts of us that we have.

repressed or rejected because they don't align with the values that we have as a human being. They can also be tied up in our past wounds or past traumas and things like that. This is the shadow side and it does not represent our actual beliefs and our actual values.

This is something that we enjoy only in a kinky context and we don't actually want to have it happen in real life. All right. So.

The fantasy that I want to share with you today is going to sound extremely anti-feminist and very blasphemous as well. Often fantasies involve things like spirituality and religion, especially if you've got like some history of difficulty with that in your childhood.

So I am going to be using the word God in describing this fantasy and in a very disrespectful way, but please hear that in the way that it's intended. It is a fun fantasy and it's not intended to disrespect anybody's beliefs.

But if that is going to be too much for you, please, this episode is not going to be for you. It's not going to be for everybody and that is okay.

so I was reminded of this fantasy of mine, this Cock Worship fantasy of mine. the other night when Slade and I were doing, we have our kinky night on Wednesdays and he wanted to do a new rope tie on me. one that we hadn't tried before. It was one he'd kind of made up too. I don't think he'd seen it anywhere. And basically this tie was being, having me tied up with my arms in front of my chest.

with like my, my elbows touching. that, I don't know, I can't really, obviously you can't see me right now. if you put your arms in front of your chest and touch your elbows together and your hands are like right up near your mouth, critical part of this, that's a critical detail. so he tied me like this, tied my arms together and tied them against my body as well.

So essentially my hands, as I said, are right against my mouth. And, no, what am I gonna do with my hands when they're just right in front of my mouth like this? no. But he might've had some plans.

But being tied like this immediately reminded me of this fantasy that I have. I have lots and lots of fantasies. Often when we go to play, I will run through them like a Netflix menu and go, hmm, what am I feeling today? Today I'm feeling really subservient. So I'm gonna, and I know I'm, I'm gonna give head. So I'm gonna channel my inner cock worshipper. So I brought up this fantasy in my head and I've used this one a few times.

It's quite elaborate, as mine, off and on.

I will try and paint a summary picture for you. Essentially, this fantasy is about, it's like set in a world where there's this religion called phallicism, okay? And phallicism is based on the idea that, so there was Adam and Eve, and then Eve obviously gave Adam the apple and that,

corrupted him and basically got them and mankind banished from paradise.

I think I have that right. I don't have a very good religious education, so that's the way I understand it. But the fantasy comes in, this fantasy religion comes in with, it's basically women are responsible for corrupting mankind, and they are to be punished eternally. That's their place.

So as a submissive, a female submissive, this has already poked me in some core desires here. Definitely some power dynamics. So in this religion, men are definitely in charge. empowered while women are basically enslaved. And this is justified because...

God made them stronger and gave them cocks that they could essentially fuck women with and punish them with if they wanted to. And a woman's body is built to facilitate those cocks and pleasure those cocks, right? So this is where it gets really fun and spicy for me, because it's like thinking about my body was created to serve and please a man.

remembering that I am definitely a submissive. So this is really, really fun and hot for me and actually really empowering for me to think about. It's not something that I believe in real life, but I love to think about it and it gets me, gets me excited.

So in this religion, the cock is the symbol and it would appear exactly as the crucifix does in Catholicism.

So the bishops wear chains with a cock on them and there's like a big cock on the altar in the church.

There's a cock on top of the church, like it's everywhere. We are worshipping these things, which is hilarious and also really sexy to me.

Anyway, so just as women's bodies were built to pleasure these cocks, the size of a man's cock also determines his rank, right? So all the bishops and the priests and stuff in this religion are super well hung. And yeah, the bigger your dick, the more respect you get and the more breeding rights you get and all of that.

And if you are a man with a small cock, then you're shamed in this religion. You're basically a servant of the church, kind of like a eunuch or something like that. So there's a little bit of fun in this fantasy for those who enjoy small cock humiliation play.

Yeah, I'm sure you can indulge in that idea if that's your thing.

So now we get to the women in this religion. So they believe this stuff. They believe that they are to be punished because of Eve and that they are subservient to men and that the cock is a symbol of God basically. So these women are super subservient and they really, they want to please their God through pleasing cocks.

So they will do absolutely everything they can to pleasure a man and satisfy him. And I imagine in this religion that the moment that a man comes, that's like, God is pleased. You did a good job. Well done. But if she doesn't do a good job or if she resists him or whatever, then she can be punished by either being fucked really roughly, because cocks are a symbol of power in this fantasy.

So she can be punished with a cock or she might be flogged. I'm into impact play. So I love the idea of like a pain punishment. being flogged maybe in front of the whole congregation. So it's like, what do they call it in?

I don't know, there's like religious ceremonies, like real life ones that people are shamed, publicly shamed, or they have to ask for forgiveness or whatever. So it's kind of like in that realm.

Anyway, obviously this is a very spicy fantasy and it's a very controversial one. so I think that's the most of it that I'm going to share on this episode. But if you would like to learn more about the, the juicy details of this one, I'll do a, a FetLife writing that you can read and enjoy and feel free to borrow this one if it turns you on. something to think about during sex or during masturbation.

But yeah, I don't want to overshare on here because...

I don't want to get my podcast taken down.

But when you look at this fantasy, you can see how it's poking me in all the core desires, right? So this is making me, it's putting me in a very subservient head space, which is making me really turned on. It's like making me feel into my submissiveness, making me want to please and worship my master.

It's also like I've got core desires around being punished and objectified and degraded. So.

imagining being flogged in front of the congregation and stared at by all of these horny men with giant cocks like, yeah, that's working for me.

But essentially this fantasy or a fantasy like this is helping me tap into my arousal, right? It's hitting my core desires. So core desires are the feelings that we want to feel during sex and everyone has different core desires. These are some of mine. If you have similar core desires to me, you are likely going to be turned on by this. If you don't, then this fantasy is going to do nothing for you.

It really just depends on what we're into and how we want to feel during a sexual experience.

But speaking of tapping into our arousal, so I mentioned that I thought of this fantasy when, when Slade put me in ropes. and the reason for that, like the ropes themselves are already putting me in a submissive head space. So imagining that I'm not really in the mood yet, I'm not turned on. but I'm confident cause I know my body and I know my buttons. I'm confident that I'm going to be able to find that. I'm going to be able to get turned on.

but I'm going to use some play or I'm going to use some fantasy to help me get there. So this is the foreplay bit, right? So Slade is tying me up, putting ropes on me. That's already making me feel vulnerable, a little bit helpless and being tied in this position with my arms at my chest and my hands in front of my mouth. Like it's kind of like a praying position, right? A little bit.

and also it's designed for me to hold a cock and fondle, fondle all of that while it's in my mouth. So that got me thinking about this, like I'm thinking about cock worship and this fantasy that I have. I'm like, imagine if, okay, in this world, the, the new submissives are like, that are like in training, they get tied up in this way and they have to stay in these ropes for, you know,

days, weeks, whatever, it's a fantasy. So you don't have to worry about actual safety or logistics. But I imagine part of their training is to be put in these ropes so they can learn to submit and hold a cock properly and please, please a man in the right way. So that was where my, like what we were doing in real life was feeding this fantasy. It's like, this is some stimulus that I can add to my fantasy.

some inspiration, I should say. So in this moment, and I do share my fantasies with Slade, but I don't always need to. So in this particular play session we did, I don't think I mentioned that that's what I was thinking about. He was having a great time tying me up and being really excited because

loves getting ahead, obviously. So he was feeling really in his dom space very much. He really aligns with the master type of role. So

That was really working for him. I'm here being tied up in my subspace, running this cock worship fantasy. and pretty quickly we're both in the mood, right? So I've gone from zero to a little bit of play, a little bit of fantasy. my God, let's go. I'm, I'm there. Let's do it. And then while we're playing, while I'm, I'm sucking his cock.

I'm running this fantasy and that's helping me be even more turned on. Please go and check out my episode on giving insane blowjobs even if you can't deep throat. think it's number 49. That's an, it's my, by far my most popular episode. And I give a lot of explanation about how I enjoy and get really turned on by giving head. So I won't.

go over the same stuff here. But basically, I am enjoying doing this as much as he's enjoying receiving it. And that makes it super hot for both of us. And a big part of that is the fantasy that I'm running in my head that's poking me in all the core desires. And what I'm doing, even though we're not doing a role play, we're doing something that I can fit into my fantasy. Like I can imagine that I'm blowing this

bishop or whatever.

even though in real life it's just my partner. And we're not, you know, we're not doing a role play. So that's another point that I actually wanted to talk about today is.

you might have some elaborate fantasies. Also not so elaborate fantasies, whatever your fantasies are, they definitely don't have to be as elaborate as this one. Even for me, this one's pretty, it's pretty up there in terms of its complexity, but that's, I don't know, I really am a creative and I love writing and making stories. So I enjoy adding to my fantasies each time I have sex and they kind of evolve over time. But the best thing about fantasy is

you don't need to act it out if you're running it in your head. You might like to, and it's really, really fun to do role plays, but most of the time, like I like having sex a lot, and I like having really kinky, hot, fun sex, but I don't, it's just not practical for us to do a role play or a scene, you know?

of times a week after work when we're tired. Like, it's just not realistic. So Slade and I love to plan role plays and put effort into an experience and actually planning a scene, but that doesn't happen super regularly. Most of our sex life is us fucking and running fantasies like this and just enjoying ourselves.

And it's just super easy because we don't need to plan anything. We don't need props. I don't need him to take on a persona, so to speak. Like, he could if he wanted to, but I don't even need to share what I'm thinking about with him. I can have this full, sexy, kinky experience just in my own head. And that's fine. so you can just run the fantasy by itself and have a really fulfilling experience that way. Or.

You can also include some components. So instead of it being a full elaborate role play, you might just have one or two things like that add to the fantasy or that are part of the fantasy. So for example, in this one, I had the ropes and even though that wasn't the intention of when Slade put them on, he didn't know about this fantasy. I kind of created the fantasy from being tied up that way, but I was able to then use this.

the real life thing, the ropes as something to add to the immersion of myself in that fantasy in my head, if that makes sense. So, like I'm imagining stuff, but it's even more immersive when there's things that I can do to help me imagine how it would feel. So it's easier for me to imagine being a, a, a member of the church of phallicism.

and a submissive in training who's being tied up and learning how to hold her arms and hold and pleasure a cock properly. Like it's easier for me to imagine that when I've got some ropes on me that are actually holding my arms like that, right? And that's kind of all I needed. I didn't need a big role play or anything else. It was just the ropes were enough to put me in that space and help me lose myself in that fantasy.

Does that make sense? So I'll give you a couple more examples, cause this is a really important point. all right. Say you've got a, threesome fantasy and you, this is from, if you're a, a Volva owner, like myself, I have a fantasy of being fucked by multiple men at the same time. I don't always have that opportunity. It's actually pretty rare. very good when it happens, but you know.

It's definitely not happening every night. but an easy way for me to indulge in that fantasy is, I can just picture it in my head while I am having sex with one person. I can imagine there's another person there. Or what's even better is I can introduce a component like a dildo and I can suck on that dildo while I'm getting fucked from behind. And then I can use my imagination to pretend that there's two men fucking me. Does that make sense?

So instead of looking at a full on role play where you've got all of these components working together to build a scene, you're relying on your imagination, but you're kind of supporting that with other components like a prop or something. And that can just be a lot more practical and easier.

This was actually one of the points I talked about in my CNC workshop that I did a few weeks ago. A lot of people think that to have a CNC experience, you need to do this full on like abduction scene. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. You can just start by being tied up and using your imagination or having duct tape over your mouth and using your imagination.

Play with those components. That is going to spice up your sex life so much, honestly. And it's so simple to do. Another really good one that I forgot to mention is position. So what position your body is in. So for me in a cock worship fantasy, maybe I want to be on my knees, right? So that's a component that I can add. That's going to be really easy. And it's going to help me put me in that submissive head space, right?

If your fantasy is to be really powerful and in charge, then maybe you want to be the one who's either standing over your partner or you're on top of your partner. And that's going to make you feel more powerful.

So in my coaching, I talk about this, it's called gestures. It's basically the way that we handle each other's bodies, the positions that we're in can really help bring out those core desires. So for example, if a man is on top of me holding me by the wrists,

I feel really vulnerable and helpless, but if he were, you know, gently caressing my cheek, I might feel really special and loved. So the way that we handle each other's bodies are going to help, help us tap into our different core desires. Anyway, that's a whole other subject, hopefully you can kind of see where I'm going with this and what I mean by this.

Anyway, without getting too much further off track, I want you to have a think about some of your fantasies and whether you do include them in your sex life or while you're masturbating, where do you let your mind go? What do you think about when you want to get turned on? What do you think about when you want to make yourself cum? That's a big one.

And I want you to not be afraid of using these tools to help you have more fulfilling sex, to help you have hotter sex, right? To help you experience pleasure. That's what it's all about.

So if you don't have a fantasy that is as elaborate as mine, that's completely okay. As I said, this is one of my favorite things to do is fantasize and write stories, especially sexy stories. And it's actually something that I love to help clients with. So a lot of people don't really know what they're into. They don't really know what their fantasies are.

so that's something that I can support you with if you would like, to, figure out some sexy fantasies that you're really into. and basically what we do together is we start with, we'll start with your core desires. So we'll, we'll try and figure out what those unique feelings are of how you want to feel during sex. that'll give us lots of clues.

And then we'll do what we call finding your hottest sexual movie. So that is basically you imagine that you are writer and director of your hottest sexual movie. And you get to decide things like, well, first of all, are you in the movie or are you, do you prefer to watch other people in the movie? Some people like to.

fantasize by imagining things happening to others rather than themselves. That's completely fine. Or you might want to be starring in your movie. And then what characters are in the movie? Is anyone else with you? Where are you? Are you in a forest? Are you in a swimming pool? Are you in a bed, a hotel room? Are you in a car? Where are you?

Basically, we will flesh this out to build a scene, to build dialogue. Like, what do you want these characters to say to each other? What do you want to hear?

All of this kind of stuff will build a full scene for you to imagine that will tap into your core desires and hopefully get you super turned on so you can use it in sex and...

Knowing this about yourself can really transform your sex life and your even if you're not having partnered sex at the moment, even your masturbation, It'll help you reach orgasm and it will help you enjoy the experience of getting to an orgasm as well. Sometimes when we masturbate, we just, it's like a means to an end. Like you're just trying to get a release. But there's so much we can enjoy.

along the way.

And learning what you actually like is gonna be a big step on getting there. And learning that it's okay to like things that aren't part of the cultural narrative of what should turn you on. And that's something that I really found frustrating most of my life before I found kink was I was taught basically I should be turned on by a man taking me out on a romantic dinner and.

eating spaghetti in an Italian restaurant, buy candles, listening to jazz music. I don't know. I couldn't think of anything worse. It's not my thing at all. So the fact that I always knew that I was turned on by being punished or being vulnerable or being abducted, that was super hot for me. But it took me a long time before I realized that was okay. And now I know exactly what I like and I can tap into those fantasies.

anytime I want. And I have lots and lots of great sex and I feel really confident in my sex life.

If that is something you would like to work on with me, please hit me up. Book a free call with me. You can do that through my website, HarleyRabbit.com. There'll also be a link in the show notes. And we can work on this together. actually my favorite thing to support people with is their fantasies.

Anyway, hopefully you've enjoyed that episode. Check out my FetLife writing. Hopefully I'll get that out around the time that this podcast comes out, but we'll see. Remember to give me a star rating, please. That definitely helps the podcast grow. And yeah, I will see you hopefully next week. If not the week after, I'm hoping to do at least one or two episodes before the Christmas break.

I've got some plans, but I'm not going to say them in case they fall through. I don't want to jinx myself. but I, regardless, I will.

see you guys soon. Until next time, play safe, have fun, and I'll catch you soon.